Harry and the Staff of Aeons
by ZeroRevolution
Summary: Harry has been neglected by his family and ignored. He has been spending his time reading and learning about magic. He even constructed his own wand/staff. After learning he has been disowned, Harry learns of new titles and plans vengeance.
1. Chapter 1

**A story I thought up while trapped in traffic today. The bridge I needed to go on was closed, so I had to go a different way. Suffice it to say that I was trapped for two hours and missed my first appointment. I thought up this entire chapter during that time. **

**The time is a little bit off, since I don't know if they had cell phones in the first book. It's a bit more conversation heavy than I normally write. I'm too afraid that I'll scrap the whole idea if I read through it again.**

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**Harry and the Staff of Aeons**

Chapter 1 – Enough is enough

"That's it." Harry Potter said gleefully. "I finally finished it!" He held up a golden staff reverently. The staff had seven crystals on one end, making it look like a rainbow, while the other end had a clear crystal with a point. The staff was covered in runes and had silver lines inlaid into the golden metal.

It had taken him three years, every cent of spending money, and all of his intellect, but he'd finally completed his staff. He picked it up and concentrated, causing the staff to spin three times. It shrank with each spin, until it was the size and shape of a wand after the third spin. He gripped it, and power poured from it, causing the whole room to shudder.

Harry left his room for the first time in over a week and walked down the stairs. He had the smallest room in Potter Manor, which was on the top floor. He ran down the four flights of stairs to the ground floor. He'd almost made it to the entrance when he heard a voice. A voice he hated.

"Mom! Dad! Harry's got something gold in his hand! I think he stole it!" Hayden Potter, Harry's twin, shouted.

Moments later, James and Lily Potter walked into the Entrance Hall of the Manor and glared at Harry. Harry sighed. He hadn't wanted to have this confrontation yet, but he supposed that it didn't matter. He was just glad that he kept his things in the storage space in his watch. After today, he wouldn't be returning to the Manor.

"What did you take Harry?" James demanded.

Harry let out a laugh. "I didn't take anything. I made this." He said, holding up his wand.

"Don't lie to us!" Lily shouted. "There's no such thing as a golden wand! It must be from one of your dueling trophies, James."

"It's not." Harry stated. He raised the wand. "Lumos." Instantly, the wand radiated light from the tip.

"Harry, where did you get that?" James demanded again.

"I'm surprised that you don't remember what I just said. I thought that a duelest of such _renown_ would have a better memory." Harry said sarcastically. "I made the damn thing."

"Liar!" Hayden shouted. "It takes years to learn to make wands!"

"For idiots like you, maybe. And, since I know that you haven't noticed, I've been out of the Manor for about four months this year alone. I've been working for Mister Ollivander. He helped me learn to make wands."

Lily and James were stunned. "When did you start working there?"

"Three years ago." Was Harry's curt reply.

"Why?" Hayden demanded.

"Because I actually want to do something with my life."

"Harry, you'll get all the money you ever need from us. There was no need to start working this early." Lily said.

Harry snorted and looked at James. "You mean you didn't tell her?" He looked at Lily. "This jackass went to Gringotts on our birthday and disowned me!"

Lily looked at James. "Already? I thought we agreed to do it..." Then, she remembered where they were.

"So. You were in on it too. I should have known."

"Harry. Hayden's the Boy-Who-Lived. He'll need the resources of Lord Potter to beat You-Know-Who." James said, trying to sound apologetic.

"Bullshit. I've always thought that was bull. I mean Hayden being the BWL. Imagine my surprise when I find out that I was right all along." Because Harry was facing his parents, he didn't see the door open and Sirius Black walk in to the hall and freeze.

"I mean, I go in two days ago to open my trust vault and find that its been locked. I give them blood to prove who I am, and guess what comes up? I've been scheduled for a _physical disownment!_ On my fucking birthday!"

"Harry! Language!"

"Shut up! Do you even know what that entails? It involves me being placed into stasis and then being drained of every drop of blood, so they can _purge_ the Potter family magic from it! There's only a forty percent chance I'll survive the process!"

"WHAT?" Lily shouted, turning on James. Sirius was too shocked to even move. "How could you do this?"

"I'll tell you." Harry cut in. "It was the most complete possible disownment besides straight up murder. So he picked it without even looking at it, so he could get back to Hayden's precious birthday party. Even the goblin was stunned by your utter lack of care for this."

"Harry, I-"

"I'm lucky about what happened next, I guess. The goblin who was testing me had given me a Heritage Test, since he knew what happened. I bet that you couldn't guess what the result was."

"A Heritage Test." Sirius whispered in shock.

Harry whirled, his wand leveled on the figure in the doorway, before smiling. "Uncle Padfoot!" Harry shouted with a smile, running to Sirius with a hug, before turning back to glare at his parents.

"That's right. The goblin wouldn't speak for about a minute after the Test." Harry paused for effect before continuing. "I am the magical heir of three different houses and I have the heir-by-conquest of another. I was made the lord of those houses and emancipated, since I'm no longer a Potter."

Harry smirked at them. "You are looking at Lord Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Slytherin."

Everyone looked on in stunned silence. James was the first to speak. "Bu- But I-I thought that the House of Potter and the of House of Gryffindor were the same."

Harry shook his head. "They're two separate titles, even though Godric's son was the first Potter."

"Who did you kill?" Sirius asked hoarsely. "To get the title of Slytherin?"

Harry paused. Did he really want to tell them this? He decided that he didn't have a choice, since he'd been wanting to tell Sirius as soon as possible.

"I defeated a man named Tom Marvolo Riddle. I'm sure that you can figure out who he was, if you ask Dumbledore. And yes, he was the heir of Slytherin."

"But-" Sirius began.

"It wasn't my fault, and you can ask Dumbledore if you want to know why." It was all Harry was willing to say on the matter.

Lily turned to James. "Isn't this wonderful, honey? We have the heir to all four Founders of Hogwarts and the Boy-Who-Lived as our sons!"

"Wrong." Harry said.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"I'm not your son anymore."

"Harry, I'm sure that we can get the disownment cancelled…"

"Not a chance. I've looked at the contract. It's impossible. Besides, I don't want to be a member of the family that neglected me for so long. The family that's willing to risk killing me to give my brother a title."

"Listen here, mister! You will listen to your mother! We will go to Gringotts now and will fix this. You'll be the secondary heir of Potter. You will add the four vaults to the Potter Vault, son." James said imperiously.

"You just don't get it." Harry said with a shake of his head. "I'm. Not. Your. Son. Anymore."

"Harry James-"

"That's not my name anymore!" Harry shouted. "I refused to kee that name either. I am Harry Sirius Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Slytherin." Harry froze for a moment before looking over at Sirius.

"I- I hope you don't mind… You're the only real father figure I've ever had and…" Harry fell silent as Sirius hugged him tightly.

"I'm honored Harry." Sirius said proudly. "I just can't believe that they would…"

"You can go to Gringotts and ask, if you want proof."

"Where did you get the materials for that wand if you didn't have access to your trust vault?" James demanded. "You stole the money from us, didn't you? I can take you to court, now that you're emancipated!"

"Wrong, you jealous bastard!" Harry shouted, fire streaming from his wand tip as his anger grew. "I earned the money, and borrowed what I didn't have from Mr. Ollivander! You took 112 of my hard earned galleons!"

"Right, like we're going to believe you were working for Mr. Ollivander." Lily scoffed, after that. "He never takes apprentices."

"Well, I convinced him to take me. In fact, I was the one who made the wand Hayden uses."

"I don't believe you!" Hayden shouted.

"Well, it's true. Didn't ever wonder why he didn't comment on it like he usually does? It's because a wandmaker doesn't comment on another's work unless asked to. That particular wand was willow and Chinese Fireball dragon heartstring. Fairly bendy, and decent with dueling. I suggest you use fire spells."

"Wha-"

"As I said, I'll be leaving now. I'll be getting a room at the Leaky Cauldron, since I don't have anywhere else to go. I will not expect visitors. Show up at your own-"

"Harry, would you like to come stay with me?" Sirius asked him.

Harry had a delighted expression on his face. "I'd love to. Are you sure?"

Sirius nodded and Harry followed him out, saying. "I've already got all of my stuff." He turned back to the Potters. "Don't forget to ask Uncle Albus." He snorted at the name. "About Tom Marvolo Riddle."

They were almost ten feet from the house when suddenly an angry yip could be heard from the top floor. Harry sighed. "Fine. Come on, Jet." Moments later, a tiny black dragon with purple flames for eyes fell onto Harry's head. Its tail curled loosely around his neck and its wings settled against its body.

"Damnit! Did you have to land so hard?" Harry

* * *

An hour later, Sirius and Remus were both dumbstruck after hearing Harry's story. Jet had already gone to sleep in Harry's room.

"You seriously constructed a metal staff?" Remus said dubiously. "That shouldn't be possible."

Harry pulled out his wand and threw it lightly into the air. It spun three times before landing in his hand in staff form. Both former Marauders stared at it with shock.

"How did you-"

"I've been working on it for the past three years. It can do all sorts of things that most wands can't and it cannot be separated from me." Harry bragged. Normally, he wouldn't, but Harry was very proud of his accomplishment.

"Fine, fine. Now, off to bed, mister. You go off to Hogwarts tomorrow!" Sirius said with a smile. Harry ran off, plotting on how to make his former family's lives miserable.

"I still can't believe that Lily and James would do that." Sirius sighed.

"I can. They've never been the same since Peter…"

"Yeah."

* * *

The next day, Sirius and Remus took Harry to Platform 9 ¾. Harry gave them what looked like Muggle cell phones, hugged them both, and got onto the train. Sirius and Remus left with awestruck looks on their faces, totally ignoring the Potter family and their entourage of reporters.

"Do you really think that these work?" Sirius asked Remus excitedly.

"Only one way to find out." Remus replied with a smile.

They opened them up and checked the other one. They then used the keys to enter a number. Moments later, green flames appeared on the 'screen' and they could see one another's face.

"This is going to be an amusing year." Remus said.

"You said it. If Harry could make these in his spare time, I don't even want to know what he will do to them." Sirius replied.

* * *

Harry sat down on a bench in a compartment and started playing with his wand. Jet was still on his head, like an eccentric hat. He'd been studying magic since he taught himself to read at age two. He could probably take his OWLs and pass with O's. He might even be able to score a NEWT or two. He'd have to hide his skills for now, especially since he'd revealed the truth.

He heard a commotion coming from a nearby compartment. A bushy haired girl was being accosted by a blonde haired boy and two gorillas.

"Hey, is there something I can help you with?" Harry asked.

They all looked at him. "Who're you?" The blonde boy asked

"Harry."

"What's your surname?"

"None of your business. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask this pretty girl if she'd like some help with her trunk."

The girl blushed while the boy growled. He didn't like being looked down upon. "She's just a mudblood. You should stay away from them, if you know what's good for you. Assuming you aren't one yourself."

"No, I'm not. Now, back the hell off." He brandished his wand. "Or I'll make you."

The boy shuddered, then moved away. Harry moved over to the girl. "Now, do you need some help?"

The girl blushed again. "Um, uh…"

"I'll take that as a yes. Would you like to come sit with me?"

"Y-"

"Great! Come on!" Harry grabbed the girl's trunk with one hand and her hand with the other. He dragged her into his compartment, before hoisting the trunk onto the luggage section.

"So, what's your name?" Harry asked.

"H- Hermione Granger." She said shyly.

"That's a great name! I'm Harry GRHS."

Hermione giggled. "GRHS?"

"It's a mouthful. So I abbreviated it." Harry paused, his eyes closing for a moment. Unbeknownst to Hermione, the orange crystal on Harry's wand had glowed for a moment. "My full name is Harry Sirius Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Slytherin. In that order."

Hermione was stunned. She opened her mouth then closed it several times. "A-Aren't those-"

"The names of the Founders? Yeah. It's kind of complicated, but I got disowned and found out about them. So I changed my name."

"You were disowned? I'm so sorry."

Harry shrugged. "It's fine. My parents and my brother were kind of jerks anyway. I can't wait to pay them back."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that my parents teach at Hogwarts and that my twin is going to be attending too."

"Your twin? That's horrible! I read all about twin bonds and-"

"We never had one. Well, not as far as I can remember."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Harry felt a buzzing. "Gimme a sec." He pulled out his own phone-like device. This one had a rendition of his lightning scar in the same color as his eyes on the front. He flipped it open and saw both Sirius and Remus' face in the flames.

"I see you made it onto the train safely. And who is this attractive young-"

"Back off Padfoot!" Harry said with a chuckle.

"Sorry, pup. I can see that you want her for yourself. Talk to you later."

The connection faded and Harry pocketed his device.

"Was that a cell phone?" Hermione asked in amazement. The wizarding world seemed so far behind that she was shocked to see one here.

"Actually no. It's a Floo Phone. My own invention. I use the Floo connection to make video calls. There already are communication mirrors, but those come in pairs. This thing can connect to any Floo on the network, as long as you know the number."

"Number?"

"Every Floo-connected grate has a number. People just like to use words, because they're easier to remember."

"Did you say that you invented these?"

"Yes. I was bored and came up with the idea. They were surprisingly easy to construct."

"Wow!"

"I suppose that's where the name Ravenclaw comes in…"

"What do you mean?"

Harry sighed. "Being a Magical Heir means that I have traits that associate me closest with the line, as well as compatible magic."

"Wow. Wait a sec, if you have all of the traits, then why-"

"Am I telling you this? Well, frankly, I plan to use my titles all the time, so it makes no difference."

"Stop that!" Hermione demanded, slapping Harry's arm.

"Stop what?"

"Finishing my sentences!"

"Oh… Sorry."

"Whatever. If you want me to forgive you, lemme see that phone."

"Looks like someone has a Slytherin side." Harry said with a chuckle. He tapped the face of his watch with his finger, causing it to vanish and a trunk to appear on the ground. Harry opened the first compartment and pulled out another phone. He tossed it to Hermione. "You owe me ten Galleons."

"Wha-?"

"I plan to start selling these at Hogwarts. You can give me the money later."

"I-"

"That, or you can consider it a birthday present. Of course, I don't know when that is, so you can consider it an early or a late present. This, of course, assumes we stay as friends."

"Harry. If you don't let me finish one of my questions again, I'll hex you!"

"You'll try." Harry said with a cheeky smirk. Then, Jet woke up and looked at Hermione, who let out a shriek as the dragon yawned, showing her his teeth.

* * *

**Well, that's what I thought up in two hours of traffic. I have a bit of the next chapter, but not enough to even come close to publishing. Let me know if I should continue. It might just be annoyance over traffic seeking an outlet.**

**Please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Sorting Things Out

Nothing much happened on the train, except for when Hayden and a red haired boy walked into the compartment. Hayden had glared at Harry, but not bothered to say anything. He'd moved through the compartment quickly. The red haired boy almost said something, but Jet had silenced him with a blast of violet flame. The boy's red hair was singed.

Harry had laughed at the sight of the panicked redhead as he ran into the wall, before leaving the compartment. Hermione had barely been able to hold back a giggle, but at another sight altogether. Jet had snorted at the sight and set Harry's hair on fire. He'd run around the compartment shouting for a second before he'd doused himself with water.

* * *

They'd lucked out and gotten a boat with just the two of them. Apparently, Hayden had been running around spreading rumors about them to everyone who would listen. They hadn't cared, and Harry had been surprised when the Merfolk came up to their boat and informed him that they had been keeping the tribute they owed the owner of the castle for the use of his lake. According to their visitors, the Founders had migrated their ancestors to the Black Lake after they'd come under attack by a much larger faction of merfolk. The Giant Squid had been Helga Hufflepuff's personal pet, and enjoyed playing with her Heir.

They'd reached the castle soaking wet, and had been escorted into the Entry Hall. Harry had made his decision when Hermione was Sorted into Gryffindor.

The confused look on McGonagall's face was hilarious. "Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Slytherin, Harry!"

Harry walked up to her. "Just say GRHS. It's much easier. Or just say Hogwarts or Founder. I suppose that works too." He started walking away.

"W-Wait, Mr. … Hogwarts. You need to remove your hat first."

"Fine. Jet, go save me a seat by Hermione." Immediately, the dragon on his head unfolded his wings and flew over to Hermione, causing everyone within a five foot radius to move. Hermione, however, began to pet the dragon, causing it to purr. Violet flames poured from its mouth as it did so.

"Attention whore." Harry muttered.

He walked up to the Hat and put it on. There was something strange about it, but he wasn't sure what. It was struggling to say something to his mind, even as its mouth opened and a "S-" came out of its mouth. Harry whipped it off his head and placed it onto the stool.

"Mr. Potter, may I ask-" Dumbledore began.

"The name is Harry Sirius Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Slytherin. Not Potter. Don't call me that again. _Someone_," He glared at Dumbledore. "Has placed spells on the Hat to affect the Sorting." Harry pulled out his wand and placed the tip on the Hat. "As the Lord of Hogwarts and Heir of Godric Gryffindor, I hereby remove all spells or bindings cast upon his scabbard that prevent it from accomplishing its duties." He pulled the wand away, dragging with it a series of colored threads. He twirled the wand once and they vanished. "Now, we can be properly Sorted." Harry sat down and put on the Hat.

"_About damn time! I was getting worried that you were too thick to notice."_

"_Really? I'm surprised at your attitude."_

"_Why? Godric wanted me to be able to handle a bunch of brats. Of course, I can't say anything mean to them, unless you start it."_

"_I said nothing!"_

"_True, but you're Godric, for all intents and purposes. I haven't gotten to have a decent conversation in years. I'll tell you what. I'll let you pick your house if you take me with you."_

"_You'll let me do that anyway. I'm too hard to Sort, not to mention the fact that I have power over you as a Hogwarts Artifact. After all, as an Heir to all four, I'm basically a blend of their traits, no more of one than another. Well, except Slytherin, but that's another story."_

"_This year will be highly amusing. So, which will it be?"_

"_Put me in Gryffindor. Now that the enchantments are off, let's just say that I doubt my coward of a brother will follow."_

"Gryffindor!" The Hat shouted, cutting off the whispers about the longest Sorting ever.

"Thanks, Hat." Harry turned to look at the Headmaster, shooting a glare at the Defense and Charms Professors. "Oh, and I'll be reclaiming the Scabbard of Godric Gryffindor as an artifact of my magical ancestor."

Dumbledore looked like he was about to argue, but simply ordered him to come to the office after the feast. Harry had shrugged and taken his seat.

"Why did you call the Hat a scabbard?" Hermione asked him

"Because that's its real shape. At the moment, it's in another form. I'll explain later. I want to watch the fireworks." Harry replied.

When Hayden had taken his seat, the Hat had taken about two seconds to shout out "Slytherin!" Everyone was stunned. Hayden began to cry. The Defense and Charms professors had run up to him and were comforting him. Dumbledore stood up.

"As a result of residual dark energy from the curse cast on him by Lord Voldemort, I believe that the Sorting Hat was unable to Sort Hayden Potter properly. He will, of course, enter Gryffindor like his family."

Harry stood up, outraged. "So, now you're saying Slytherin is dark?"

"N-No." Dumbledore said, not expecting to be challenged.

"Then why would the aftereffects of a curse cause him to be placed there?"

"I-I"

"Or are you simply caring to the whims of a petulant child?" Harry paused, then gave an evil smirk. "I'll make it simple for you. As the Lord of Hogwarts, I follow the Sorting Hat's decision and Sort Hayden Potter into Slytherin."

Hayden had pulled his wand at this point, only to find it torn from his hand. It was now stuck to the floor.

"I think you'll find that Hogwarts herself doesn't like it when her Lord is attacked." Harry said with a smirk.

James walked over to Harry. "Harry James Potter, you will Sort your brother into Gryffindor this instant!"

"Go to hell, James Potter." Was Harry's reply.

James reached for Harry. "You'll do what I tell you!"

"Not really." Harry pointed his wand at James. "Back off."

"Or what?"

"This." A violet jet of light slammed into James' gut, knocking him on his ass.

He returned to the Staff Table in shame, while Lily led Hayden to the Slytherin table, whispering to him.

"Harry, what spell was that?" Hermione asked him.

"You'll see." Harry replied with another smirk.

Moments later, there was a commotion at the staff table. Where James Potter had stood, there was a large stag. The stag had immediately headed towards the Entrance Hall. In mid stride, the stag shifted back to James. Before he could take a step, he shifted back. The changes continued to happen at random intervals, causing the entire student body to mock their Defense Professor.

"Harry!" Hermione said between giggles. "How long will this happen for?"

Harry shrugged as he laughed out "About five minutes total. I didn't put much into it. Of course, with my staff, it'll be probably twice as long."

"What'd you do to Dad?" Hayden demanded. He was followed by Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy, who still had his two gorillas.

Harry sneered. "You tell me, oh mighty Boy-Who-Lived. You're so much better than the rest of us, you must know that simple spell. I mean, it's in one of the textbooks."

Hayden opened and closed his mouth a few times, before turning and walking back to the Slytherin table. He was followed by Draco and Ron, who looked decidedly confused as to why the Boy-Who-Lived had just backed down.

"What textbook? I don't remember reading anything like that…"

"The current transfiguration textbook for year 6." Harry chuckled. "Never said anything about this year."

"Stupid semantics." Hermione grumbled.

"Oh, get over it." Harry chuckled.

* * *

After the feast, which had been fairly normal after Harry's curse had finally worn off, Harry went to the Headmaster's office. He walked over to the Sorting Hat and picked it up. Jet was already on his head, so he just carried the hat.

"What do you need Headmaster?" Harry asked.

"Please put the Sorting Hat down and sit, Mr. Potter."

Harry sighed. "If you call me that again, I will get angry. When I get angry, things tend to explode. Violently."

"Well, Harry, then. I must ask you to relinquish all control of the school to me. For the greater good, a student cannot have more power over the castle than the Headmaster."

"Deal with it. You will never touch my rights. I do not trust you, old coot."

Dumbledore groaned. Harry was apparently set on being very difficult. He'd wanted the brat in Slytherin, so that he'd be forced to come to the Headmaster for help, being a half-blood. Not to mention the fact that they'd murder him if he said he was the BWL, not that he believed the boy. Lily and James had always said how Harry was a jealous child.

"Very well, I'll leave that discussion for another time, then. You will have to change his house. He needs to be in Gryffindor, for the Greater Good. I don't know why you influenced the Sorting Hat to put him in Slytherin, but I think that we'd all be much happier with your twin in Gryffindor."

"I didn't influence the Hat. You tried to. And I think that you've been doing it for years. I think its time for a Re-Sorting."

Dumbledore gasped. "You can't mean you want to Re-Sort every student in the castle."

Harry shrugged. "Sounds like a good idea to me. I have no idea how many Sortings you meddled with."

"That would be catastrophic. Even if some students didn't belong in the House before, they've been there for years. You'd destroy everything!"

"We'll see. Oh, and I suggest that you find a new History professor. Come on! A ghost? The only reason to have one on staff is to avoid paying him."

"Well, the school is running low on funds…"

"Which I will be checking. This castle earns more than it should be spending. I assume you've got the ledger?"

"I really don't think that there's any need for you to bother with-"

"I have it, milord." The hat said. The tear in it quirked into a sneer at Dumbledore. The hat was mocking him!

Dumbledore looked for his wand, only to see it Harry twirling it. "How in the hell did you-"

"Get your wand? It was really easy. You should learn to keep it safer. Here you go. I'll let you have it back, for now." Harry said with a vicious smirk. He placed the wand on the desk and turned to walk away.

That little brat stole control of the Elder Wand from him! Dumbledore was about to stun him when Harry turned from the exit. "Oh, and did They-Who-Shall-Never-Be-Known-As-My-Parents-Again ask you about TMR?"

"TMR?" Dumbledore was confused.

"Yeah, you know Tom Marvolo Riddle. The guy I apparently defeated as a one year old to get the title Heir of Slytherin. I know I worked it out. Did you?" With that statement, Harry walked out, leaving Dumbledore dumbfounded, with a half-useless wand and the realization that he'd been wrong for an entire decade. He had totally screwed up and would be hard-pressed to salvage anything from the situation he'd been working on for almost ten years.

* * *

**I'm not sure if everything I wanted to convey was actually there, but I think I did ok. The part with Dumbledore sort of switches to his perspective a couple of times, just to show what he's thinking.**

**Dumbledore is without the power of the Elder Wand, which has lost him quite a bit of power. Harry is fully aware of this, but doesn't really care. His Staff will eventually be stronger anyway. There is a reason for the story title, after all. **

**They're going to hide the revelation of the true BWL for a while, but Harry won't bother with his friends, except to use it to mock Hayden. Few people will believe him, but, hey, I'd rather be the Lord of Hogwarts than the Boy-Who-Didn't-Die any day. **

**I'm going to show Harry meeting the Twins in the next chapter, as well as his reaction to the teachers. Flitwick is not at Hogwarts, but will be showing up later. Lily is the Charms Professor, while James is the Defense, in case you couldn't figure it out. **

**Please Review! Oh, and if I get any really good prank ideas...**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - First Day

Fred and George Weasley woke up as clowns. They had face paint, the rubber noses, and even clown outfits. One look at the other and they cracked up. None of the spells they tried to use managed to remove the appearance, so they simply shrugged and went to the common room. Unfortunately, Professor McGonagall was there making sure that the first years wouldn't get lost on their way to the Great Hall.

"Fred and George Weasley! What are you doing? I insist that you two go back up to your rooms at once and get into the proper robes. Clean your faces as well." She demanded.

"We can't professor!" Fred started.

"Someone pranked us!" George finished. He sounded delighted.

"Really?" She pointed her wand at them and cast a silent spell. Nothing happened. "Oh dear. Well, I must take these first years to the Great Hall. You two head to the Hospital Wing and see if Madam Pomfrey can fix you up." She ordered.

She led the first years out of the portrait hole. After it had closed, the two heard laughter and turned to see Harry cracking up at the sight of them.

"Is there something-"

"You'd like to tell us,"

"Ickle Harrikins?"

"Yeah, you two make great clowns." Harry said, clamping down on his laughter. "By the way, I'd suggest some better wards around your beds. An alarm ward isn't good enough against me!"

"Really? So you are responsible for this?"

"Can you reverse it?"

"Of course. But first, I think that we'll see the reactions in the Great Hall. Come along."

"We're not-"

"Going anywhere."

Harry tilted his head. "Oh, I guess it's time for plan B."

"Plan B?" The twins asked in unison.

"Yes, Plan B." Harry snapped.

The twins heard a honk and looked down to see a tiny muggle car speeding into view. Suddenly, the doors opened and the twins found themselves sucked into it. Harry was there too, but with a divider between the pranksters.

Moments later, the doors opened and the twins were forcibly ejected, while Harry stepped out. The car sped away. The twins looked slightly nauseous but shook it off.

Everyone could only stare at the sight of Harry and two clowns, also known as the Weasley twins, stepping out of a clown car. The muggleborns and half-bloods who were raised by, or around, muggles laughed at the sight.

"All right."

"Harry."

"You've,"

"had your,"

"fun."

"Now,"

"change,

"us,"

"back."

"Are you sure?"

"YES!" They shouted in unison.

"OK." Harry pointed his wand at them and they were drenched by a flood that poured from Harry's wand. Unnoticed to most, the tiny blue crystal on the base of Harry's wand lit up. The Weasley twins were drenched, but were back to normal, with no signs that they'd ever been clowns.

The performance was met with general applause, to which Harry bowed. He sat down next to Hermione, leaving the two Weasleys in a puddle.

"So, that's why you said to go down to breakfast by myself."

"Maybe." The two ate, discussing what they thought that they might study.

* * *

The twins appeared out of a secret passage on the way to Transfiguration class. They smirked at Harry.

"Can't get away from us, ickle Harrykins."

"Yeah, yeah. What do you want?"

"We'd like to discuss… things with you later."

"Ok, but we've got to get to class, and so do you." Harry smirked as he snapped. The tiny clown car appeared and sucked the twins into it. They screamed "HAAAARRRRRYYYYYY!" as the car sped away. Harry and Hermione cracked up as they continued towards the Transfiguration class.

* * *

Harry helped Hermione perfect the transfiguration within the first five minutes of the class. McGonagall noticed and asked Harry to try it himself. Harry looked down at the match and smirked. He waved his wand over the match, causing it to elongate and become metallic, even as the chemicals caught fire. Moments later, Harry was holding a flaming rapier.

"D-Dear God! How did you do that, Mr. … GRHS?"

"Just call me Harry, professor. It's probably easier. Anyway, I just triggered the chemicals before transforming it. An everburning charm to make sure that it didn't run out of fuel… I think that's it."

"Um… Well… 50 points to Gryffindor for this marvelous piece of work."

Harry smirked at Hayden, who was on his third match, having combusted the past two, then started talking to Hermione again.

* * *

Harry used various spells to disrupt the classes of his parents, not that anyone knew that it was him. Dumbledore had not yet found a history teacher, so, flying class had been moved up.

* * *

"All right everyone, we'll be using the school's brooms today." Madam Hooch said after the Gryffindors and Slytherins had gathered.

"No, no we won't." Harry cut in. "Those brooms are so old that I'm surprised that they are still able to fly. I will not allow the school of my magical forbearers to use such disgraceful equipment. This is another thing to add to the list of complaints against Professor Dumbledore."

"Mr… Harry, unless you happen to have twenty brooms lying around, I'm afraid that, even as the Lord of Hogwarts, unless you just want to postpone the class, we don't have a choice." Madam Hooch said, slowly. She had long protested the poor quality of broomsticks, but Dumbledore had waved off her concern.

"Let's wait for a couple of minutes. I can get us twenty broomsticks that aren't even on the market yet." Harry said as he pulled out his Floo phone. He tapped a couple of keys. "Hey, Jon. Yeah, I've got some problems at Hogwarts. The brooms here are utterly worthless. I bet that if we were to use them, there'd be at least one injury." He paused for a moment. "Twenty. Yeah, I need them now. You're already in the warehouse? Great! I can get a Floo running. Hold up a sec."

Harry raised his wand and released it. It twirled three times, returning to its staff form. Harry grasped it with both hands and said "Floo." He slammed it into the ground and emerald flames burst forth from the point he'd hit. Moments later, a man stumbled out of the flames. He was carrying a bunch of brooms.

The man, Jon, dropped the brooms and glanced around. He chuckled. "They look just like the rest of the board when you showed them the prototype." He paused. "Did you finish the-?"

"Nearly. But I'm not selling it. At least not yet."

Jon shrugged. "Your call. We'll be busy with the Firebolt for a while anyway. Later." He stepped back into the flames, which surged as he vanished, before burning out. There was no sign that there had even been a fire.

Harry glanced around at the dumbstruck faces. He turned to Madam Hooch and indicated the floating brooms. "Well?"

She hesitated a second. "Um… They haven't been approved by the Headmaster…" She had never seen brooms quite like the ones floating at the perfect height for mounting before.

Harry sighed. "They're the beginner broom from Dragon Racing Brooms, a company that I sold a pair of brooms to. The Firebolt is their professional model, while this Starlight model is the one for beginners. As for the headmaster, well," He paused. "As Lord of Hogwarts, I hereby permit the use of these twenty Starlight broomsticks for the flying lesson of the first year Gryffindor and Slytherin students." He glanced at Madam Hooch. "Is that sufficient?"

"Y-Yes." She nodded.

"Good." He released his staff, which shifted back to a wand.

* * *

Due to the inherent safety charms on the brooms, Neville Longbottom had been saved from injury, despite his losing control. Albeit, he had passed out, but he was uninjured. Madam Hooch had still taken him to the Hospital Wing, however. Hayden had picked up the loose Remembrall and flown into the air.

Harry sighed and followed him into the air, despite Hermione's protests. "Come on Hayden. Give it here."

Hayden chuckled. "Come on Harry." He mocked. "I've been flying with Dad for years. I've never even seen you on a broomstick. You can't hope to get it back from me without a curse."

Harry just shook his head in disappointment. "I enchanted these things. Do you really think that I can't fly?" With that, he flew around Hayden, with maneuvers that James Potter would have been hard pressed to repeat it. "Now, I'll give you one more chance. Hand it over."

Hayden hesitated, then threw it. "Go get it, Harry! Like the dog you are!"

Harry sighed and pulled out his wand. He summoned the Remembrall, then turned to smirk at Hayden, who was fumbling with his wand. Harry groaned as the boy dropped his wand.

He shot towards the wand, even as it fell. Much as he'd like Hayden to be without a wand, Ollivander would kill him if he let anything happen to one of his masterpieces. Plus, the wand would be helpful against that bastard Riddle.

"Harry Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Slytherin!" He heard McGonagall shout at him once he'd landed.

"Harry! I hate to say I told you so, but…" Hermione interjected.

"See you later Hermione!" Harry said with a smirk as he followed the Transfiguration professor. There was no way they could expel a student for disobeying a command like 'don't fly'. Plus, the Gryffindor Seeker had just graduated. Harry suspected that this was going to be a rather enjoyable punishment.

* * *

As expected, Harry had been recruited into the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Harry had turned down the offer of the Nimbus 2000, since he was going to have completed his new broom by the time of the first match.

After mocking Hayden and getting an earful from Hermione, he was summoned to Dumbledore's office.

* * *

"Hello, Harry." Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes.

"What are THEY doing here?" Harry snarled.

"We're here to discuss your movement to a special room with your family, as well as some training.

"I didn't know that Padfoot and Moony were here." Harry paused. "Oh, you meant them? They're not my family. They made sure of that."

"No matter what, they ARE your family and we have prepared a special suite of rooms for you to use. We cannot afford to have the Boy-Who-Lived in an environment open for attack. In addition, it is possible that supporters of Voldemort will use your twin as a way to attack you."

Harry outright laughed. "Oh, so now you're going to pretend everything is like nothing ever happened? First of all, I don't give a shit about him or those two wastes of space behind you. Second, I refuse to allow you to manipulate my life. You had your chance and you blew it. I will not live with them."

"Harry, there was no way to tell-" Dumbledore tried to explain.

At that, Harry's eyes instantly hardened. "No way? Really? So magical exhaustion and a curse scar are perfectly normal? A simple wound caused by falling debris to the arm is a sign of surviving the Killing Curse? Really, who do you think you're kidding? You can shove your training up Hayden's ass for all the good it'll do you. Go train your Boy-Who-Lived-Because-I-Saved-His-Ass. I'm out of your control." After that statement, Harry turned and walked away, leaving a dumbstruck Dumbledore and a pair of stunned Potters.

* * *

**Okay, I thought the part with the brooms was a bit excessive, but it was the best way to get across my point. Harry is a master enchanter. That's what he does. He has been studying magic from a very early age, and as such is quite skilled. He has worked with Ollivander and others to improve his skills. Oh, and for those of you who didn't guess, he was the one who invented the Firebolt. The Starlight is just a beginner version of it with safety features. If anyone knows the canon name of the company that makes them, please let me know. **

**I'm not sure whether I should change this to humor or not. I mean, there are going to be some recurring jokes, as well as pranks, but serious parts too. Also, does anyone know if changing the genre of a story affects the alerts in any way?**

**I was going to include the potions class, among other things, but I decided to save it for next time.**

**Please Review.**


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